Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
