I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
