Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
