At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Randomize
