Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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