i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
