So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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