Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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