My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
