Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
