Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
