ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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