He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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