idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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