Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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