That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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