When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
