went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
