i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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