someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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