New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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