She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
