I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
