Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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