i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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