Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize