we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
