I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This is my gift to your gina
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
