We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
