I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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