talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
