You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
