i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
