Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
