I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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