I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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