He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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