I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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