Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im holly from the hills drunk
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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