So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
