We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
