i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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