I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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