i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
