your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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