D3 body, D1 cock
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
