i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
