Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
