he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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