wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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