So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
