Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
