i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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