"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
