She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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