I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
