Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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