I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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