no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
