Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
