How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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