I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
